It's a grey, windy February day in the middle of nowhere on the Palouse. Hail begins to beat on our Ford Focus and lightning strikes ahead 200 yards. Driving on highway road 26, our vehicle runs out of electricity and our car dies (we don't put in gas because we believe in saving our environment because we CARE ABOUT OUR PLANET). My wife Priscilla begins to weep uncontrollably, "how will we ever get back home to watch our favorite Netflix show on our Apple TV with our vegan cats?!??" Needless to say we ate the last of our edible t-shirts (proud to say they are antibiotic free). But our thirst! We were lost, stranded, and our iPhone 6S's had no network connection (thanks Steve Jobs, ugh). We began to make way until my wife Priscilla yelped, "Washtucna!!" After sniffing and wiping my nose, I replied, "Gesundheit".
Little did we realize that Washtucna is literally a town in the middle of nowhere Washington. But the odd thing was...no person was there. Not a single human being was around in plain sight. We caught an odd whiff of cow pies (which we use to fertilize our GMO FREE garden), but proceeded down the empty street. We saw many abandoned buildings, RVs purchased from R & R RV, and some rural homes with yellow flags with snakes on them (uhhh YUCK!) that said "Don't tread on me". We then saw a promising establishment appear out of the corner of our eye. Was it a mirage!? Java Bloom?! Coffee?! The holy bean!! I jumped off of Priscilla's back as we gracefully made our way into the building.
Again, an ominous silence encapsulated the room. Until, out of nowhere "MOOOOOOOOO!" A 450 lb cow appeared behind the counter. I ordered a double latte with soy milk, but the cow seemed distraught. I begrudgingly ordered a 2% with a little hesitation, and then a cow two percent smaller than the first came over and sprayed her milk into my latte (rather sloppily I might add).
We tried it. OH MY GOD. PRISCILLA YOURE ADOPTED. It was out of this world! Holy cow, Best latte in Washtucna, by far.
The next time i meander the fields as I trip on a three day LSD binge, I will be sure to revisit Java Bloom. Thanks Bessie and Catherine! Be sure to try the Mocha, it's udderly to die for. read more