Presumably inspired by the Lapland New Forest Christmas Festival, the Hunter Valley Gardens christmas light spectacular was a very memorable experience. Not even in my wildest dreams could I ever have imagined parking my car onto a nearby field, only to join the collective disappointment of a zombie-pack of patrons as they amble through the over abundance of tacky plastic lights unquestionably sourced from a bargain bin at the Reject Shop.
Not to be outdone by Silverwater jail, HVG does their very best to instill feelings of structure and compliance, by trapping customers into an IKEA-style walking path through their advertised "immersive experience" that you are not allowed to touch by risk of electrocution and imminent death. Luckily no one in my family were left behind on the pathway because I am not sure we would be allowed to go back and retrieve them. I imagine customer service would just say "they belong to the gardens now" and then shoo me off to the gift shop.
And if you don't like poor people or pensioners youre in luck, because HVG hates them too. At 30 dollars a head you can be rest assured that any Aussie battler will not be able to afford the luxury of joining the writhing procession of bodies scrambling for the perfect Instagram picture. Nor will they have to endure the "igloo", which predicts a dystopian future of arctic animals sheltering in a hurricane tent littered with plastic and pillow stuffing. Or maybe that was meant to be snow, I'm not sure.
Lastly, I hope that three Christmas ghosts visit the owner of the gardens, to hopefully encourage them to make this illuminated ordeal accessible to everyone. read more