We visited the Tunbridge Wells branch of Hotel du Vin on Boxing Day following a late afternoon performance of Jack And The Beanstalk at the Assembly Hall Theatre. I have been to the chain's hotel in Brighton and though the food and ambience are very suited to a Christmas celebration, the main reason we booked was it's close proximity to the theatre.
Our group consisted of my parents, my sister and her husband and their 8 year old daughter.
The receptionist was genuinely welcoming and guided us to one of the lounges for pre dinner drinks. So far, so good. However, a French waiter, who clearly had aspirations of working in a far grander establishment, came to take our drinks order. He was abrasive and condescending and arrogant . He greeted us with "Yes. What do you want?" I asked for a drinks menu. "Yes, but what is it you are actually after?" he demanded. We were clearly a mixed group. Our order could have included hot beverages, soft drinks and alcohol. I suggested a wine list and a cocktail list. He then tried to suggest we all have champagne based cocktails and went into great detail describing all the ones on offer, starting off with Bellinis and then going on, and on, and on. It was an overly involved barrage of unwanted information. We quietly let him finish, smiling and nodding politely, and I repeated that we'd really like to see a drinks menu. He returned with menus and then asked "And what direction do you wish to go with the wines?" I said if we decided to order wine, we'd do so once we'd been given the chance to see the dinner menu. Looking disappointed, he remained, making his presence felt, as we chose our pre dinner drinks.
We waited for over 20 minutes for our order of three wines, two fruit juices and a lemonade. The place was very quiet. Our order was very undemanding. The wait was just too long. Finally I walked across the lobby and into the virtually empty bar, where the waiter was wiping and stacking glasses. I asked how our order was coming along. He failed to recognise me and said "What would you like?" I repeated the order, but this time when I said lemonade, his face curled into utter confusion and disgust. "Lemon...?" he struggled to say, as if he'd never heard of it.
I'm sure he considered himself Tunbridge Wells's finest sommelier, but on this occasion his customer was an 8 year old girl, and she fancied a lemonade.
By this stage I'd had enough. I told him his misjudging of the situation was beginning to spoil our evening. I returned to reception and asked to see a manager. When I relayed our experience the manager, unprompted, said "Was it the French waiter?" as if this wasn't the first time a customer had been pushed too far by this guy.
But from then on in all the staff were a delight. Chatty and interested. The food was like high grade pub grub. I had French onion soup (over salted), beef and ale suet pudding with boiled spuds and wilted spinach (stodgy and meaty and delicious) and chocolate fondant with hazelnut ice cream (nice, but no better than an M&S dessert). They charge £35 for two courses and £40 for three with sides at £3.75 each - one side is ample for two people. Our bill came to £307.
I wondered if our pre dinner drinks would be taken off our bill. They weren't, and gratuity had been added. We won't be returning. read more