My stepfather was forced to quit his job. Two years ago, he had his leg amputated, and months…read morebefore that, he underwent a hip replacement on the same leg. On top of that, he was battling advanced liver disease and had survived two heart attacks.
Last Thursday, my mother called me in distress--his condition had worsened. He was hallucinating and had lost control of his bowels, something that had been happening for weeks. When we arrived at the ER, we were told his symptoms were the result of liver failure. Still hallucinating and in unbearable pain, he was admitted to the cardiac floor.
As anyone with experience in a hospital knows, weekends bring delays. While the nursing staff has been exceptional, and some physicians have gone above and beyond, the system itself is failing us. My mother, elderly herself, can no longer care for him at home. But to our shock, we found out that because their combined income is slightly over $3,000 a month, they don't qualify for assistance. How is that a fair measure? This is not a safe discharge. I pleaded with them--home is not an option. I requested end-of-life care to keep him comfortable, praying that hospice would be the answer we've always been told it is.
But then we hit another roadblock. He was denied admission to a nearby hospice house because he wasn't on pain medication. Desperate, I contacted his physician, who personally ensured he was given something for pain and that the denial was reconsidered. The next day, my mother called--staff were at his bedside, asking if he was still in pain. Because he had finally received comfort measures and was no longer actively suffering, they again denied him inpatient hospice care.
I begged them to reconsider--he has no insurance, we have no money, and sending him home is not safe. But the system doesn't care. They say he's "in his right mind," yet moments later, he's confused and hallucinating. And when he briefly returns to lucidity, he apologizes to us, saying, "I know we don't have the money for me to die. I didn't think it would be like this."
The very safety net that was supposed to exist for people in his situation is nonexistent. Their only advice? Take him home, and they'll send someone to check in. That's it. Before you donate a dime to hospice organizations, look beyond the polished image they present. Ask for the real stories, not just ours, but those of countless others left without options. Some hospice facilities won't take you unless you're expected to live only 3 to 5 more days. That's not what hospice was meant to be--it was supposed to provide dignity in death, to allow families time to say their final goodbyes.
The nurses caring for him are shocked he's lasted this long. But I guess unless a patient is in a complete coma, they don't qualify. Meanwhile, the executives running these organizations will never have to worry about what happens to their loved ones when they're too sick to work, uninsured, and making just barely too much for government assistance. The services that were supposed to be there when people like my stepfather needed them most haven't just fallen short--they simply don't exist.
