Last night we booked a "peaceful, romantic, CO-neutral evening canal cruise" in Amsterdam. What we…read moregot instead was part sightseeing tour, part improv comedy, and part low-speed nautical thriller. Honestly, I am still laughing. Our captain, Stefanie, opened the evening with what I can only describe as a legally binding statement "I will tell you everything about Amsterdam... and I will not lie." Bold. Confident. Inspirational. I trusted her immediately. To be clear, Stefanie was fantastic. Funny, personable, and working hard the entire time to keep things upbeat. The canals at night are stunning. The setting is absolutely top-tier. Now let's talk about the experience. The boat was described as "intimate," and credit where it's due, it actually was. Plenty of room, very comfortable. But the crowd was so international it felt like the United Nations had decided to take a field trip. I am pretty sure we solved at least two global issues before we left the dock. Then the journey began. Reverse gear? Optional. Possibly theoretical. The Red Light District? Hyped like the grand finale. "You have to see it at night." Did we see it? No. The canal was closed. Somewhere, dessert was served without us. At one point, we entered what I can only describe as a delicate negotiation with either another boat or a bridge. It was not a crash. It was more like two vehicles gently disagreeing about personal space. And through all of this, Stefanie remained calm, smiling, and narrating like everything was exactly as planned. Which brings me to my favorite moment of the night. During the chaos, she says "Please, take anything you want, I am so sorry!" Now remember, this is the same woman who PROMISED not to lie. So naturally, when we returned to the dock, I grabbed a bottle of wine. Not greedily. Respectfully. Like a man honoring a verbal contract. Immediately, a deckhand appears out of nowhere "You can't take that." I respond, calmly and with conviction "Stefanie said we could." Stefanie, without even blinking "I meant candies." Candies. At that exact moment, I realized I had just witnessed a masterclass in precision language. She did not lie. Not technically. She simply... left room for interpretation. Did she promise too much at the beginning of the tour? Possibly. Did I misunderstand the scope of "anything"? Also possible. Was I emotionally prepared to trade wine for candy? Absolutely not. All jokes aside, it was a hilarious, memorable, and genuinely fun evening. Not the flawless, whisper-quiet romantic cruise you might expect, but something far better. A boat full of great people, a captain who handled mild chaos like a pro, and a story that gets funnier every time I tell it. Would I do it again? Yes. Would I ask for a written list of what "anything you want" includes? Also yes.

Alfred the guide was awesome. He was able to answer all our questions. He was knowledgeable and…read moreexplained the history in a way we could understand. Great job!! Judy

As I walking I past this location I stopped in because I wanted to do the tour bus hop on, hop off;…read morehowever, I was warned that it was not worth it and the cruise would be a better option. I spoke with the guy in the store and he informed me the night time light cruise was coming to an end for the season-- I decided that would be best to see Amsterdam, at night. The employee here was very helpful and friendly. The tour was good and quite informative. While they do give you directions of how to get there, it's relatively confusing. Luckily they have several locations across the route and I had to pop in to two other locations for further instructions.

This comment is to report the driver of bus number 161 (who refused to identify himself when we…read moreasked his name). He wouldn't let us board, claiming he had to wait for his passengers, even though we had purchased tickets. No bus number was assigned, only the time. His attitude was extremely rude, and the bus was at least 50% full. We wasted over 30 minutes looking for another bus despite having purchased tickets. Your seat depends on the drivers and their arrogant attitude.

A DAMN GOOD TIME WITH A DAMN GOOD GUIDE!! That Damn Guide,…read moreMark, is an independent tour guide in Amsterdam and provided our family with an excellent, private walking tour experience. He's very knowledgeable, very funny, and offers a unique perspective on Amsterdam with interesting insights into the rich culture and history of this city. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with him and he comes highly recommended!

We took this tour in early March 2020. We've taken a lot of walking tours in many European cities…read moreand this one with Mark is by far the absolute best. The small size is so much more intimate and comfortable. He spent a little time at the start getting to know us better and finding out what our interests are so he could tailor the tour for us. Then he showed us a map pointing out where we were going and sites he wanted to show us. His walking tours are usually between 2 to 8 people which is what initially attracted us to this tour. We thoroughly enjoyed it because Mark opened up Amsterdam to us in a way we never could have done on our own. That's the gift that Mark has, to be able to show us this multi-faceted city through his eyes, and his experiences, and with a balanced view. You would think that 3 hours is a long time to walk around a city but the time just flew by! Mark touched on the social, economic and political faces of Amsterdam. He sprinkled it with history and humor too. And it's all so much more interesting the way he presents it than just walking around reading from a guide book. Amsterdam is a beautiful city with a complex history and Mark shares it all during the walk. He's easy to listen to and his narrative is insightful and informative. Mark set a comfortable walking pace for us and he was ever mindful that my husband wore hearing aids. We really appreciated that. We loved the cafe that he took us to for a short break. It was open and airy and had a good vibe. The gallery and shop downstairs showcasing Dutch design was fascinating. I'd love to return. Mark also introduced us to a couple of smaller museums that we plan to see again. You can support this Amsterdam local business by booking directly on the That Dam Guide website instead of any 3rd party booking site, all of which charges him commissions. It's truly the best way to get to know Amsterdam.

Our guide, Edgar, was knowledgeable, charming, and his enthusiasm for Dutch history ad architecture…read morewas contagious. The time flew by. Highly recommend.

Oh. My. Goodness! I waited years before I bothered with a walking tour in Amsterdam. It was WELL…read moreworth the wait! I started with the historical Jewish area tour, and couldn't stop. That tour alone was impressive and inspiring. Delighting and quite moving. Tijs was so good that I went on to take more neighborhood tours with him and two with Edgar. These guys know there stuff. No question. Full stop. Great information and cool stories to keep you engaged and remembering! I wouldn't take a historical tour in this town with any other company. I've had the best, and I will return!