Summary: supremely condescending. I think the guy I met with said his name was Tom, I don't recall exactly. It was a very brief meeting. Here's why:
I went there to learn more about what our estate planning needs might be, if they might be a fit for our needs, and us for them.
(1) I am wary of giving out all kinds of personal information before it's even known if we're going to do business or not. (Dates of birth, social security numbers, how much do you make, how much are you worth, sources of income, names and ages of kids, phone numbers, addresses, etc.) I was prepared to discuss, in general, our net worth, what it was made up of, and who was in the picture -- an overview of our situation -- once we spoke, not before we ever met. When questioned about it, I simply stated that I was a bit wary in this regard, but would be willing to get super specific later as needed if we went with them. This, apparently, was an immediate affront to Tom. (2) So too was going without my husband. It was pointed out more than once that he (Tom) "isn't used to these meetings without the husband." I told him my husband was well aware of the meeting but preferred not to go, and that I am the primary one to handle our finances, so for an initial meeting, this was fine. Yet he brought it up again. I wonder if he would have questioned a man so much about where was his wife. (3) Clearly irritated with me for (1) and (2), he asked very bluntly, "well what do you want from us." Really, that's how he put it. Um.... I came at their invitation to learn more about their services and fees. I don't know what I don't know. I of course don't expect detailed planning in that hour, I assumed they'd ask questions and outline next steps. That's why I was there. So I told him I wasn't sure. Perhaps we needed to establish an IRA trust?
That was his opportunity to regain professional composure, ask pertinent questions, explain their services and why we might need them. Instead, his whole demeanor reflected his irritation that I didn't give detailed information on the intake sheet and my husband wasn't there. He spoke fast, delved into one area (IRA distributions), and threw out acronymns. For example, while I know what a RMD is, he didn't know if I did or not, nor did he care. Another example: I had listed grown children by initials and age only (for now, as explained.) He picks up the intake sheet, looks at it, flips it back on his desk and says in a derisive tone: "well 'T' -- whoever THAT is" and finishes his statement. Yup. He never once asked a thing about us, or what size estate we're trying to protect, or even addresses my hesitation in writing down highly sensitive data. (Again: relationship? data security?) I came prepared with a folder that outlined our holdings and what we'd done so far, but we never got to it. He was hostile and combative although in fairness I'm sure my irritation with him by then was quite clear as well. I told him calmly that I found him to be combative and that was not going to be a good match for me. Unless I was scheduled to meet with someone else next, we were done. read more
