Today was a decent day in divorce court. Imagine that. I was satisfied with the outcome, especially…read moreafter 5 months of ups & downs dealing with the opposing party. Hiring Ms. Starla Zehr was a wise investment.
IN SHORT: From our first consult in the spring at her conveniently located office in Waterford, Michigan, Starla took her time with me, asked many relevant questions and recorded lots of details on my situation. She explained my best and worst case scenario options and potential related expenses. During the final settlement conference, she threw down hard when warranted and both parties ended up agreeing well enough. Divorce ain't perfect, but it can be reasonable in the end with the right level heads to direct you.
IN LONG: When I was ready to roll and file, Starla continued with the same approach and ultimately left me to make informed decisions. Not knowing what to expect with the divorce process (being fortunate enough to have my first husband die), Starla & her office manager/paralegal, Polly, made it an easier experience to understand and go through overall. They also actively worked directly with the opposing attorney and their office personnel to keep the negotiation process on track. Starla also knew when to put me in check and take a breath when things 'got real' and the Bronx girl came out in me here and there. Ultimately, I was so glad to be hands off and let them do the legal dirty work.
On a personal note, I found Starla to be very kind and understanding to my particular situation with 2 small children and being in all kinds of transition. She provided much insight to what-if's and what-will's down the road in addition to very helpful practical advice for the future. After the court proceedings were over today she gave me an unexpected hug and we had a really nice chat on the loose ends.
On a general, random Oakland County MI Court side note, the assigned judge overseeing my divorce (Matis) was a really happy guy despite bringing down the final ax on love gone bad x100. Like, genuinely, internally, smiling-ly throughout happy. I half-expected to be invited back for coffee and donuts and mingle amongst all the new divorcees after it was over. Weird, but pleasant considering the collective situation of everyone in the room.
Anyway, SOME BEGINNER BEST DIVORCE LAWYER TIPS FOR YOU: Okay, so I was not the most ideal financial position to hire an attorney, but I managed to come up with some cash for the retainer. Let me tell you, if you are in the same position and are set to divorce, it is WELL WORTH IT to hire someone to represent your best interests and cut through the crap...your ex's and Michigan law, in general. My ex said I had absolutely no need for an attorney *insert hearty laugh here*. Seriously, get a second job and hustle in the short term if you have to and make ongoing payments. I tried to do so even while the retainer was till in effect. That tidy bundle is not going to last forever if things go sideways. You will typically get a statement every month itemizing how your retainer has been used and, and once used up, what you owe to date. Make sure to not get overly involved in emotional exchanges with the soon-to-be-ex as best as possible to keep progress alive & always try to stick to the facts at hand (it will save you on attorney fees). I tried to keep verbal exchanges to a minimum and got as much in writing as possible (email/text). I used to be a medical biller and the mantra in my department was: "If you don't get it in writing, it didn't happen". Lastly, just because you may not be getting constant updates, it doesn't mean things aren't in the works in the background. Starla & Polly were really good about replying back in a timely manner to update / FYI emails I would send. Be concise with your emails. Respond quickly when needed. Get all your paperwork, photos, copies, supporting documentation together. Sign up for Google Voice. It saves texts in perpetuity and transcribes voicemail messages that may be necessary to your case. Keep copies of everything for yourself. Sometimes some clarification and re-clarification has to take place, but that is a good thing so that everyone is on the same page in the end.
Obviously, you should do your research and see a few attorneys to explore their opinions on your particular situation (lots of assets/no assets/kids/no kids/craziness/no craziness). You should feel comfortable in the bones with who you pick. Credit goes to the ex's 1st wife for the Starla "referral". When Starla's name drew a little snarl periodically throughout the relationship, I knew I had put her on my short list of attorney consultations & book an appointment. Plus, I thought it would be kind of funny.
Now that YOU may be ready to put the garbage in the garbage can where it belongs, it's time to give Starla or Polly a call & cut your divorce stress in half (at least).
Now, off to find my 3rd husband!
J/k :-D
Much love and stay strong,
Luna
#68Seconds
