If we ranked convenience store chains and the people who work there like baseball leagues, QT is…read morethe Major Leagues of convenience stores. The best stores, the best people, and the best service. Suck it Circle K!
I'm not here about that though. I'm here to talk about their moth*****king Pretzel Dog back in that QT kitchen, man! Have you had this thing? Yeah, but did you have it with the cheese sauce too? check it.
A hot dog, wrapped in a hot, toasted, crispy pretzel bun comes outta that oven....then that butter soaked brush gently licks that pretzygooch, softly, slowly....... so lovingly.. till pretzy is dripping wet with butter. Driiiiiiping wet.
Then the salt gets sprinkled on top'a'dat'muhfug. The salt rocks look like tasty little landmines for muh tongue. mmmmmm..
You run out to your car, and unbox this thing with the fury of a 8 year old on Christmas morning who already saw that Playstation hidden in the closet 3 days after Thanksgiving.... now the wait is over and it's go time.
But wait, homie. wait...... shhhh.....Don't bite that thing yet. No. Remember the cheese sauce? mmhmmm. yeah you do. Dunk dat'bich right into that cheese sauce... and don't be shy about it either. Get it in there and get it in there nice n'deeeep like. Now you're ready..... it's time. close your eyes, lean your head back, open that mouth.... and enjoy. It's time.
Once you wrap that cute mouth around that pretzydog, you realize that it's too big for you...oh no.... but this excites you, doesn't it. You've never seen one this big, have you? You wince, pin your ears back and go for it and take as much as you can. Your jaw and lips sound like on old abandoned pirate ship, coasting in the ocean on a still, quiet night. Creaking.... and creaking....... stretching..... then you finally make it. Full dog insert. Nice! You're doing great and we're all really proud of you!
When that flavor explodes in your mouth, you make a noise... quiet and shy, reserved....surprising yourself for sure.... but yet.... you make a noise because it's good. It's so f'n good. You sink in your car seat and get a full body twitch, over and over....your leg shakes a little too......you is naw-TEE, ain'tcha?
Then you realize you have cheese sauce all over your lips and mouth. You feel a little embarrassed at first, and reach for a napkin..... but no...no no.... shhhhhhhhh... shhhhhnnnnn.... no napkin today, playa. Use that tongue to clean off that naughty lip-chum. sllllllrrp. yeah, that's right.
When you're finished, you think... "damn. I shoulda got two of them f'rs."
Don't fall for that. I tried to eat two in a row and sat in the Urgent Care parking lot next door for an hour..... debating whether to go in and admit what I've done... or die alone with my pretzydog secret in my car.
I didn't die! 5 Stars!!!
Thank you QT!
You're the best!
F Circle K, all day, bae!
Let's Go Blues!