Snobby expensive piece of shit!
So we hear about this interesting bar where the waitresses are supposed to be dressed like fairytale characters, so we went there, because I'm a perverted son of a bitch who has constant sex phantasies involving Disney princesses. Don't judge, there are worst weirdos out there.
First red flag:
Bar is located in a snobby gentrified area of Berlin right across the Volkspark Friedrichshain park. It's basically full of expensive apartments for expensive shitheads fucking this planet in its ass every day making you wish there was more crime in this city just to drive these assholes away.
So we walked in this snobby neighborhood, passing snobby assholes and their snobby kids coming out of and going into their snobby apartments and stood in front of what looked like a strip club. You couldn't see inside. You couldn't hear any noise coming out of it and you had to ring a bell and wait for somebody to let you in.
We rang the fucking bell.
A tired waitress opened the door.
"Come in" she said in a husky voice.
"What happened to your voice?" I asked.
"I partied hard last night" she said with a voice of someone who's been smoking 10 packs of cigarettes a day. She wasn't dressed as any fairytale princess I ever heard of. She had on a hairy sweater that made her look like a grizzly bear. With that voice maybe she was some kind of fairytale witch. Or a bear.
Second red flag:
She led us into the bar. Nothing "fairytaly" about it either. It even looked like a small strip club that the owner quickly had to sell because of so many fucking snobs and douchbags moving in to the area with their kids demanding that everything around them be family friendly. I puked on the inside and mourned the Berlin of the old days.
Third red flag:
The grizzly bear motions for us to sit at a specific table instead of letting me choose where I want to sit. What kind of fascist fairytale is this? It's a fucking shitty bar in a snobby neighborhood that offers 20 Euro cocktails! And you tell me I can't sit where I want to sit so you can fit as many snobby douchbags in your bar? Fuck you!
Oh yeah, the drinks are that fucking expensive, just like the ones in a strip bar, except there are no strippers, just ex party girls dressed as third-class characters from a diarrhea nightmare. This bar should be firebombed with molotov coctails made of the cheapest wines. It and all the snobby apartments surrounding it. Yeah, I said it. Sue me, you rich zombies. read more