I was thinking about my life today, married for 33 years and have 2 children. Very happily married by my and my wife's account.
If my wife followed Deborah's advise we would be divorced and not had our son.
Most of our issues were with our very similar alcoholic parents.
My wife was in a women's group with Deborah as well. I joking called it the we hate men group as when my wife came home from this group I wondered what I had done this time?
Our first couple sessions with Deborah were normal, talking about what we thought was going on lasting about 45 minutes. The last session, Deborah ripped into me for an hour and 15 minutes. I was to blame for everything. Alcoholic, druggie for smoking pot. An alcoholic when I had been in Ala-non for 6 years already?
On the way home my wife tells me that Deborah has recommended that she should divorce me and I should be checked into a rehab facility. I said, if that is how you feel, let's get a divorce and I meant it.
She doesn't want to get a divorce and we went to another counselor.
After a few sessions, the new counselor gave my wife a homework assignment, how many of the women in this group were married, not interested in men or in a happy marriage. Next session she reports that no one is in a happy marriage, most not interested in men and one was separated from her husband.
The therapist says she thinks my wife should find a new counselor and stop going to this group. A few weeks later the counselor tells my wife if she does not stop going to this group and go to another counselor that she would recommend to me to move on.
She said she sees allot of women in late forties to early fifties that determine through counseling that their husband is an alcoholic and divorces them. Only to find out that their husbands fair much better. That many of these women do not remarry and end up with financial issues.
As soon as she started counseling with another lady and stopped the women's group we moved forward to a better marriage.
My point is, how many marriages were destroyed because of her bad advise? How many individuals are wondering where they are now or could have been if had not come to such a hasty conclusion? How did they fair financially?
I say a prayer everyday for my wife and son being in my life. It is an inside job, do the work first before you make big changes. read more