Imagine - You're craving a Blizzard, so you head to local Dairy Queen looking to ease your craving. You're mid-order, when suddenly the 8 jugs of water you downed at work hit your bladder like a turbo charged semi truck, and you realize you have got to GO. You frantically finish your order and sprint to the restroom, praying that the single stall is open. As you push the the "pull" door, your body is preparing to sigh in relief, as the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. You make your way into the bathroom, when it hits you. Take a dead cat covered in expired horse radish, then microwaved on high for a decade, thrown in a dumpster fire fueled by human feces, with a dollop of synthetic battery acid to top it off. And this wasn't any ordinary smell, it was that kind of smell that invades your body. You can taste it, a presence like you've never felt. You know that feeling when you see your ex in a public place? It's a type of invasion on THAT level. VIOLATION. So now, you're faced with a decision. Risk your bladder exploding in a Dairy Queen bathroom like a water balloon on a summer night, or continue this sensory torture to your nostril hairs. In an attempt to finish this nightmare you make a break for the toilet. You start doing your business, but the stench is beating you down, and you don't know how much longer you can last. Halfway through, the dizziness starts to set in. You realize, this is life or death. As your consciousness fades, you struggle to get yourself to the door. Stumbling, hazily fighting for your last breaths, you reach to make your final push towards the door. You topple through the exit, with just your head peaking out. Slowly, you glance up and see a hazy figure looking back at you. For a moment you think, "God, is that you?" But no. It's your fear-stricken friend, with a Blizzard in each hand looking back at you.
With Paramedics on either side of you, you struggle to piece what happened or where you are. For a moment, you feel safe. Your friend emerges from the crowd of bystanders surrounding you and hands you your Blizzard. Suddenly, a creeping feeling of panic rushes over you. You still need to pee.
Blizzard was good tho read more