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    CrossFit Chivalry

    5.0 (1 review)
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    Updated 2 weeks ago

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    9 years ago

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    Planet Fitness

    Planet Fitness

    3.0(7 reviews)
    0.5 mi

    Planet Fitness: The Only Gym Where Self-Respect Goes to Die…read more If Kafka designed a gym, it would be Planet Fitness. The more money this gym makes, the more us members are seen as numbers on a spreadsheet. This place is a dystopian parody of fitness culture--a judgment-free zone, they say, while they actively judge anyone who dares to take fitness seriously. God forbid you breathe too hard or lift something heavier than your self-esteem. You'll trigger the infamous "Lunk Alarm," a shrieking siren reserved for people who commit the sin of actually working out. It's like being in a gym run by hall monitors who peaked in middle school. The equipment? Glorified coat racks. The staff? Half-asleep corporate clones who care more about wiping fingerprints off the smoothie machine that doesn't exist than basic hygiene. I've seen cleaner restrooms at gas stations that sell meth pipes. And don't get me started on the free pizza days. What? Who thought this was a good idea for a GYM? Because nothing says "healthy lifestyle" like pumping your body full of grease in a gym that treats effort like a hate crime. It's not a fitness center--it's a fast food court with treadmills. Planet Fitness doesn't promote health. It promotes mediocrity wrapped in purple upholstery. If you want a place to sit around and pretend you're doing something with your life while scrolling TikTok on an elliptical, congrats--you've found Mecca. But if you're trying to push yourself, improve, or god forbid sweat... run. Run far away. (Just not on their treadmills--they squeak like tortured rodents.) Now let's talk about the tanning rooms, which--brace yourself--apparently double as private masturbation booths now. Yeah. I heard a grown man audibly handling business in the one next to mine. Loud. Proud. No shame. Honestly, I didn't know whether to call the police or a priest. I walked out mid-session because I didn't want to leave smelling like regret and coconut oil. This isn't a gym. It's a padded cell for ambition.

    Well, here we are again, dealing with the "Double Dipping Planet Fitness. ". We've been dealing…read morewith PF to return our monthly fees that were paid up front and taken out on a monthly basis. PF continued to take funds fr I m my husband's account and refused to refund my funds because our advantage insurance pats our membership. Our next step is to file a claim in court on a Planet Fitness Corp. Sad that a company has to do this to stay afloat.

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    CrossFit Chivalry - gyms - Updated May 2026

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