"I'll be a monkey's uncle before I set foot in this place" was a broken promise ringing deafingly in my ears as, post-casino pounding, I sauntered into this swindler's den. Unless you have Simian flu you should never frequent this place (I heard that's how you catch it actually).
The Monkey Bar is a sports bar come pokie den. It's standard fare in Chatswood due to the high population of gamblers per capita. When the Orchard's main bars close, the Beer Monkey wakes from its slumber and lures you in with the promises of amber gold, frothy goodness, and wealth beyond your wildest of dreams. But the beer monkey cannot be trusted; and as you reach for that gold he throws out a metaphorical banana, which you proceed to slip on as your bank account heads for the gutter. Laughing as he steals your amber courage, the beer monkey slaps you senseless, until you leave; tail between your legs; a man (or woman) defeated by a primate.
If you find yourself in Chatswood, semi-soused, at 2am then this den of inequity may just be up your alley. But let me leave you with a piece of advice that my mother taught me... "nothing good ever happens after 2am".
It's at that precise moment that you'll realise, you shoulda gone home and spanked it instead. read more