attended Seacoast Grace from 2017 onward, serving faithfully as a lead usher, in the choir, and in…read morechildren's ministries (VBS/RFK). I was deeply invested and invited many family and friends to join. Sadly, my experience eventually became one of hurt and disillusionment.
In 2020, during the Rooted program, a confrontation occurred where I reacted in anger to disturbing language from another attendee. I am transparent about my mistake; I used profanity and I own that. However, leadership focused solely on my reaction while ignoring the context of my life: I was currently navigating a divorce, the death of my brother, a job loss, and a traumatic physical attack that left my hand severely injured. Not one person from the church visited me during my hospitalization. Under the leadership of Connie Surratt and Autumn Igo, my serving privileges were removed, then quietly restricted even after being "reinstated." I felt intentionally hidden and denied any real pastoral care despite my attempts to engage.
Two Easters ago, I was accused by security of yelling at someone at the altar. This was entirely false I was actually greeting longtime friends from my Bible study. This culminated in a scene where a leader (Gwen) physically grabbed my arms and verbally assaulted me in the parking lot, witnessed by other volunteers (Dean and Janet). Despite it being proven that the accusations against me were false, no apology was ever offered. I remained "on penance," feeling like a child walking on eggshells with angry parents.
The breaking point was the treatment of the vulnerable. On a day we were taught about helping the community, I saw a pregnant woman with children being surrounded by security and recorded by staff. When I asked to help and feed her, I was told she was being removed at the instruction of Autumn. I later found the woman around the corner in tears; she asked if she could pray for me. It was heartbreaking. This, alongside a later incident where a man from the church harassed me at a post office for "trying to buy my way into heaven" by helping another woman with diapers, showed a distorted view of mercy within the culture.
Three weeks ago, I was approached by Autumn and Daryl after a service. Despite my request for witnesses, Autumn made serious, false accusations of verbal and physical abuse against me in front of my friends. I was told to leave and never return under threat of police involvement. This felt like a coordinated attempt to discredit me and separate me from the community I love.
Since leaving, I've met many others with strikingly similar stories. If my full story had been heard openly rather than discussed behind closed doors, I believe I would have been met with understanding. Instead, I felt watched rather than shepherded, and defined by assumptions instead of relationship.
I am not perfect, but what I experienced was not restoration it was control and image management. I am grateful for the hundreds of kind individuals in the congregation who reflect Christ; they are the reason I stayed so long. I pray for accountability at Seacoast Grace. Revelation reveals the heart of a church, and I speak this truth with love for those who have been pushed away like me.