I stay in a lot of cheap shitty motorway hotels.
I'm easily…read morepleased by a smile at reception and a bed that isn't noticeably soiled, but fuck me with a fire extinguisher!!!!!!!!! This place is the WORST.
Turned up in the small hours having booked 3 twin rooms. The receptionist was eagerly waiting for us with arms folded, having obviously received some devastating news regarding a member of his family and a group of people matching our exact descriptions.
2 key cards per room - are you insane!?! get fucked mate.
Got upstairs to be greeted by the smell of sewage on the first floor. Imagine my surprise to discover the smell in the corridor was actually coming from my room. Years of smoking have rendered my already poor sense of smell almost null and void, but the stench that hit me on opening the door made myself and my lucky roommate for the evening gag and immediately turn retreat. Back down in the reception our new friend seemed to be expecting us, as when we informed him about the stench he magically produced a can of air-freshener within a second so that we could enjoy the smell of shitty chemicals and human waste together. No other rooms available, not my problem, not going to wake the manager up - it's 2 in the morning, he's asleep.
Not going to give you my name - this is not my problem and actually I'm a bit pissed off with you fancy-pants foreigners wanting to sleep without the risk of contracting a disease.
I have actually stayed here once before and remember the breakfast being absolutely hilarious.
Fuck this place, fuck that guy and probably see you again in the next 12 months in your conveniently placed shit pit with secure parking.