Conversation started July 31
7/31, 9:26am
JoAnn Rene Laoretti
Good grief................ I go to a great grief group, and grief is NOT a good thing, but when it is shared, it sure is a lot easier, I learn so much from these people, I get tools I need to navigate the extreme lows as well as the peaks that scare the shit out of me. I leave there knowing that even tho this path Im on is hard, mine is not the hardest. My friends in my group have all faced the loss of their partner, their spouse, their very best friend, some faced illness like David did & some were killed in a moment, leaving no times for good byes, we have a few that their loved one committed suicide, making grieving even a harder thing to cope with. These people who share their stories have made my journey with grief so much easier, do NOT confuse that with EASY, but seeing everyone at all the different stages, and we have people still coming that lost a spouse 6 years ago, everyone offers something in sharing their experience, we all learn that this is something people survive, tho it does not feel possible at times, we learn that it comes in waves & you never know when it will hit, we learn it passes, thank heaven. We learn to forgive people who say things that they mean to be helpful, but only seem to hurt, we learn that no one who has not lost a spouse/ best friend & everything could possibly understand what it is like to go home alone night after night eat alone meal after meal, wake up alone, sleep alone, to NOT have your Go TO person, the void is unimaginable & we learn that NO LOSS, not that of a mother or a father, a sibling, the only loss that compares with losing a mate is losing a child that still lives at home. The void is huge. we learn ways to fill our lives with distractions. we actually do find some humor in how life unfolds and wonder sometimes if it is our loved ones laughing at us from up in heaven, we actually have joked about all of our partners are probably up in heaven having a meeting together telling the stories from their perspectives and we laugh at the idea of them all looking down at us wanting us to NOT BE SO SAD. I have to say I never ever thought a grief group would or could be something I actually do look forward to, on days when Im down or so low I need a hand up, I know I will leave there feeling better, and on days that go very well, when I feel like I have made a move in a healthy direction, when I have found Joy again.... it is great to share that too, maybe giving the hand to one of my new friends when they need it, by reassuring them that like the waves of sadness their will also be waves of HOPE. I start every day with what I am grateful for & today it is Camarillio Hospice, for giving me a place to heal, and connecting me with the fine group of people I have grown to LOVE LOVE LOVE, Thank you Ellen, Colleen, Maureen, Kathleen and the other Kathleen, Katherine, David, Frank, & zumba Frank,Jennifer, Rosa, Alma, Bonnie, Marsha, Greg, Don, Christine, I know I am missing a few names, but ya all know my mind is not functioning at 100% but do know I am doing much better since meeting all of YOU thank you~!~ -- feeling blessed. read more