When I became pregnant with my second daughter, during the 1stmonths of the pandemic, I knew that I did not want a hospital birth. I knew that my family would not be able to participate in my prenatal care through Kaiser, due to COVID protocol, and it could be a lonely experience. My first daughter was born in a birth center, so I knew how magical an out of hospital birth could be. In our first Zoom appointment, I found Aliya and Kara warm and knowledgeable, but my partner was not convinced. He felt that we should be in a hospital 'just in case' something went wrong. I went about trying to educate him about risks of hospital birth and how birth can be a natural, intuitive and safe experience.
Even before Aliya and Kara were officially my midwives, I reached out to them, regarding some test results that I was concerned about, hoping for some reassurance through their knowledge and experience. Kara responded with the most kind and compassionate, e-mail that provided me with information and reassured me that my natural home birth experience was still possible. I was so grateful and appreciative for this empathetic and knowledgeable response that I felt I could trust them both instinctively.
As we moved forward into our official partnership my partner was still a bit apprehensive, but by participating in the prenatal visits, he eventually warmed up by seeing how knowledgeable and professional they both were and began to trust them. My 8-year-old daughter looked forward to their visits and was excited to help with measuring my belly each time. They studied my labs and made remarks such as 'you have amazing hemoglobin,' which made me laugh. Our prenatal visits provided important information and resources, belly measurements, loving examination of my growing baby with gentle touch, taking of vitals and listening to baby heartbeat and also learning about me and getting to know our family. Their visits also offered reassurance that I was doing a great job taking care of myself and baby, humor and laughter, human connection with wise women, and needed emotional support during challenging times, always reassuring me of my body's wisdom. Aliya and Kara are a wonderful team, complementing each other incredibly. I was able to develop a strong and trusting relationship with them both and I felt like I had twice the support, knowledge and care. Our visits were never rushed and my partner and daughter were able to fully participate in this amazing experience, right in our living room. Aside from the masks, I even forgot that we were in a pandemic, at times.
There were moments where I needed help advocating for myself within the Kaiser medical system, where I was being pressured to go along with Kaiser protocol, against my own wishes. Kara and Aliya helped me to navigate this pressure and always supporting me to stick to my own choices, reminding me of my body's strength and health.
When the time came, I felt prepared. Although this was my second birth, it was my first home birth. Aliya and Kara had clearly instructed us how to prepare our home for this day. My birth went smoothly, but I will not sugar coat it and say it was easy breezy. Aliya and Kara danced beautifully together supporting me and one another to do what they are so skilled at, alternating tasks and roles. They helped my partner participate fully, guiding him to do needed jobs as well as give me encouragement, massage and pressure to ease my discomfort. They helped me decide at what point I wanted my daughter and my family to be present, and at what time I needed silence and 0 distraction. They stayed calm, confident and focused the whole time, using creative positions and maneuvers (never imagined or seen in a hospital) to help ease my baby down. Our baby was born in the privacy of our warm, one-bedroom apartment, where I had lived for 12 years. I was comfortable and at ease in my own surroundings and I felt so blessed. Kara and Aliya shared in our afterglow, glee and excitement, took the necessary weight and measurements, examined my placenta and umbilical cord, exclaimed at how alert and observant Maia Silene was, with her eyes wide open, taking it all in. They quietly cleaned up, prepared a nourishing snack and then gracefully left us to bask in the beauty of our new family member.
In the weeks after her birth, I continued to receive regular visits, phone calls, referrals and emotional support, as I navigated stressful feeding challenges, that were so hard at the time, but are now a distant memory. Now, at 10 months, our baby is chubby, so healthy, smiling and giggling, crawling around and continues to be ever curious about her world. My family and I are so grateful to Kara and Aliya for helping to give us the pregnancy and birth experience I had dreamed of. No doubt, this has given our daughter such a healthy, loving start to life. This is how birth should be and the experience i only wish all mothers could have. read more