"Know When to Hold 'Em; Know When to Fold 'Em"
According to local Dakota legend, hundreds of years ago, back in the days of floppy disks, Clearly Canadian, and when Bob Barker hosted "The Price is Right", a large mountain stood in the place of Barn Bluff. After arguments ensued over who owned this prime spot for watching over enemies, contestants from two Dakota rival villages participated in challenges for immunity and to win sole possession.
Tie votes proved problematic, so the Great Spirit and Jeff Probst instead divided the mountain into two parts. One part stayed in Red Wing and was named Barn Bluff, while the other part moved down the Mississippi River to Winona, where it was named Sugarloaf.
We'll save the sugar for later.
Barn Bluff has several scenic trails that are perfect for quick, yet fairly steep hikes (expect to spend maybe 30 minutes to an hour to cover the roundtrip hike plus exploring/taking photos at the summit), with the reward being stunning views of Red Wing, Wisconsin, and the Mississippi River at the top. Prehistoric people used to build burial mounds on top of the bluff, so take a moment to think back about all the footsteps that came before yours when you get there.
Kids and dogs will enjoy the hike, but be always be careful of loose rocks and drop-offs along the trails. Find a bathroom before you go--there are none at the bluff.
Now the tricky part...to find the trailhead (GPS will not always bring you to right spot).
A. Drive into town.
B. Look up at bluff
C. Admire or scoff at of the area dedicated to graffiti on the West side of the bluff. There are layers upon layers of paint featuring graduation years, love declarations, and even tributes to Prince! While not technically legal to deface the bluff, the graffiti has been a tradition for over 50 years--the city doesn't usually paint over it unless there are complaints.
D. Ask a local for directions. They're usually tame as long as you don't make any sudden movements.
*Trail lengths*
--South Trail--
To Lime Quarry .32 miles
To East Scenic Overlook .83 miles
Roundtrip from Main Park Access to West Scenic Overlook 2.27 miles
--Prairie Trail--
From West Scenic Overlook to East Scenic Overlook .55 miles
--Carlson Lime Kiln Trail--
.3 miles RT (dead end)
*The North trail is closed, but the connection path that leads there also goes to the midland trail and quarry trail, both of which are open. The North trail, being the most difficult and dangerous trail was temporarily closed for modifications (there have been 3 fatalities on that trail since 2011). It should be opening back up again this fall.
"Barn Bluff"
(Parody of "Love Shack" ~B-52's)
If you see a little sign at the side of East Fifth that says
Drive straight down to the Barn Bluff
Barn Bluff yeah
I'm driving down over to Barn Bluff's lot
Looking for a gooood parking spot
Looking for a gooo--oood parking spot
I found me a slot underneath a shade tree
Don't need money 'cause the parking is free
Three-hundred, forty feet, to the best city view
So strap on that Fitbit and let it acrue
The Barn Bluff is a pretty, old hill where
We can hike together
Barn Bluff Baby!
At Barn Buff, Baby
Barn Bluff, hiking, Barn Bluff
Barn Bluff, hiking, barn Bluff
Barn Bluff, hiking, barn bluff
Barn Bluff, hiking barn bluff
Sign Says, "Closed", for the north trail
"Cause we care, 'bout your hiking fails"
Cause that trail goes back to a narrow, slippery path
With a bunch of loose rocks and steep vertical drops
Hiking up the South Trail
Hiking up the Midland....
Hiking to the lime kiln
Hiking through the Prairie....
The Love Shack is a pretty, old hill where
We can hike together
Barn Bluff, baby
Barn Bluff, baby
Barn Bluff, that's where we hike
Barn Bluff, that's where we hike
Huffin' and a-puffin', workin' off your muffin
Hiking to the summit, keep on path and don't plummet!
The big hill's rockin'
Yeah the big hill's rockin'
The big hill's rockin', when everyone's a wanderin' on up,
And on up, and on up, and back down!
Everybody's traipsin', everybody's trampin' around
Crowds trekkin' up the trail just to trek down
Everybody's traipsin', everybody's trampin' around
Rockin' that bluff
Rockin' out that bluff!
Climb to the summit, it's an amazing view
Where your crew can rendevoooous,
Wear your hiking shoes, make sure that they're grippy, put em' on
'Cause loose rocks can get slippery!
The Barn Bluff is a little old hill where
We can hike together
Barn Bluff, baby
Your what?
Barn Door's
Open!
Barn Bluff, baby Barn Bluff!
Barn Bluff, baby Barn Bluff!
After docking the bluff one "Uffda" for the sometimes ill-maintained paths and signage, I would give this beautiful and historic bluff four hearty (and possibly out of breath) "Uffdas".
~The Nosy Norwegian
Sniffing out good deals and dusty trails so that you don't have to. read more