I am keen to introduce my three young children to outdoor water based activities, so I phoned the Ardingly Activity Centre for advice to work out what was possible given their ages. I had no fixed ideas about when or how, just sooner rather than later was my preference. We have just purchased a camper van so it was about trying out new compatible activities.
The centre was not available when I called so I left a message. I eventually received a call back from the owner, who was very cold and blunt, and seemingly annoyed that I was seeking advice rather than using the online booking facility. I was told firmly that they had migrated to an online system as they were sick of having two people man the phones answering queries daily (hopefully those two people are employed elsewhere).
I am absolutely fine with things that are not possible but I had to work very hard to try and work out a suitable plan of attack. I asked if anyone was available for private hire and got a stark "no" followed by silence - no follow on to suggest there may in the future or that group lessons may be available etc.
In the interests of politeness I let that go and then moved onto talk logistics in the absence of a tutor, given the ages of the children, to try and work out whether my wife and I could hire one kayak or two and how many kids were allowed on board. Again, very negative... started with can't be done with the youngest of the three kids... no problem, so I tried to usher the conversation to what was possible with the older two.. suggesting my wife staying on the side-lines with the baby whilst I rotate with the two older children.
The first response was only myself and one child were allowed in a kayak and if I were to swap between the two, it would be a pain to get the children in and out of the life jackets on rotation. I suggested we just put them both in life jackets at the outset (they are different sizes given age gaps anyway). I was rather rudely told that would result in one of my children hogging a life jacket. Eventually the owner recognised his own dismissiveness and conceded that having both the older two children in life jackets from the get go and then rotating could work. Phew.
Separately, I also suggested that my wife would be fine on the side-lines with the baby as she has not got any experience and got a very blunt "well, it's not that difficult". That was literally the tone and extent of the response on that. By that point I started laughing out of embarrassment and when he asked why I explained that I had phoned to motivate my children in a new venture and had ended up becoming demotivated myself. I wish I hadn't said anything. The fault was, apparently, my subjective feelings rather than his attitude. In fact the owner had self-justified his approach as legitimate expectation management, and my dislike being linked to being unrealistic on a bank holiday weekend. I tried to explain, politely, I had no expectations of when or how, I was just trying to work out a plan to introduce my kids to this ... instead I was receiving an "its all too difficult", dead-end and unhelpful dialogue. I said a little helpfulness, optimism and realism were not mutually exclusive.
Despite this, I was met with non-sequiturs about being "unrealistic" and a defensive "I have done this job for thirty five years" and had lots of happy customers, we should agree to disagree etc.
It was my feelings that were at fault and his subjective interpretation meant there was no objective truth in the feedback he had requested. Some owners cannot do enough to engage new custom/enthuse potential recruits - this owner couldn't do any less, isn't interested in feedback he requests, however well put, and will default to self-justificatory non-sequiturs and years served. You would have thought the owner would have developed some degree of self-awareness/desire to pass on skills to the next generation. Unfortunately not if it requires anything non-standard or outside of the online booking system.
Hopefully the owner's customers will find the review he requested more useful that he did. read more
