2.5 stars
I'm glad I…read morespent several hours reading reviews of this place before I went, because if I hadn't I would have been even more confused than I was, which was also extremely confused. I personally don't like being soggy and feeling very hot, then very cold, and then lukewarm around naked strangers over and over again (it's kind of boring, and what am I supposed to be looking at?), but if this is your thing, maybe you'll like this place.
When I arrived, I was the only customer in the lobby, and yet none of the people working there at the desk acknowledged me in any way. I finally approached one, and I told her it was my first time there, and I wanted to know how everything worked. She only explained the payment system to me. They give you a chip, which you insert into a key that has a wrist strap on it. The key opens two lockers (a mini one for valuables and a larger one for clothes, etc.), and the chip is used to scan in and out of the facilities and tells them what you used and for how long, so they know how much to charge you at the end.
I went to the spa section first to try and book a facial and a scrub, but they were pretty much full for the rest of the day, so I stuck with the public areas.
Even after all my reading, I was unclear on what all the sections were. The ground floor seemed to be all tepid and cold pools. I couldn't find a hot one, and I wasn't sure if there was supposed to be one. The sauna section comprises two floors and many rooms, and I had no idea what most of them were or what the benefits were. I went around a tried a bunch, but I really wasn't sure if I was doing it right. I went into a "hammam" section, which I thought was supposed to be a scrub of some sort, but it included no scrub, and instead consisted of just a bunch of scented steam rooms, some with hot water hoses and others with cold water hoses. One of the rooms there did have an empty bowl that looked like it had contained a scrub that wasn't refilled.
The big pool in the sauna area was pretty cool, and I like how they have music under the water. Very relaxing!
My main complaint is that everyone working there seems to speak English, and yet the sauna is not set up to be very easy to use for non-German speakers. Some of the signs had English translations, but most did not. There was no explanation of the rules or norms or different sections, so fortunately, I had read up on a lot of that beforehand. Still, a lot of things would have been more enjoyable if I'd understood what was going on. For example, in my first sauna room, I joined the "ritual." A woman came in and spoke German to the group for 2-3 minutes, and the only thing I understood was "lemongrass." Then, she turned on a really loud recording of a German version of "Circle of Life" from the Lion King musical, put big balls of lemongrass-infused salt on the hot rocks, ladled some water over it, and fanned us. This was confusing and hilarious.
Also, for the price, it would be great if they included towel, sandal, and robe rental, or allowed this for a small supplement. I was visiting for the day from out of town, and it was a pain to have to carry that stuff with me and then carry it home all wet in a plastic bag. If I could have rented all of it for 5 or 10 euros, that would have been much more convenient. I imagine a lot of people come to visit while on vacation and don't have these things with them.
However, at the end of the day, my hair and skin did look amazing, so if that's the point of this whole spa ritual thing, I guess it's worth it, as I have spent way more money, time, and effort trying to achieve the same thing in different ways. If I were in Aachen again (which I don't expect or see much of a reason to be), I'd probably give this place another try and book some of the spa services in advance.
