shocking service ordered at 7.10 told 40mins called again 8.10 told 10 to 15 mins then the phone…read moredoesn't get answered after 8.30 drive there delivery driver stood chatting with the staff whilst our food was in the boot of the car and when we got it home not all there

Rather than being some sort of chat line focussing on people who want to have conversations with…read morefood ("Hi, I'm a three cheese omelette with a vinaigrette salad - what do you want to talk about?") this is yet another of Formby's seemingly endless parade of fish 'n' chip 'n' Chinese food purveyors. While being weaker on the fish and/or chip front (the chips are often a little crispy and lack a proper fluffy middle) this place is far better than most on the Chinese takeaway front (the dragon beneath the sign should probably have given this away). It's not haute but if you like sticky and aromatic dishes with chicken that slides apart or beef with a little chew to it then there's definitely nowhere better in Formby. Unfortunately it doesn't tend to be open very late, which is a shame really - it could do well mopping up the stragglers coming out of nearby Grapes pub at closing time.

The fish they serve here is not cod and it is not made crispy, this fish and chip shop is located…read morein Formby though so at least the sign above the door is 33.333% correct. This is probably the worst place to get fish 'n' chips 'n' Chinese in the whole of Formby, it's not terrible especially - there are just far better places out there (see how I refrained manfully from using 'plaices'). What Crispy Cod Formby does very, very well is kebabs and burgers - this might seem odd for somewhere that so prides itself on fish that it puts the name of a fish that it doesn't in fact serve up in backlit plastic, but there it is. Donner or chicken, 'Hawaiian' (served with pineapple ring - exotic) or 'king' (served with an egg - regal) the kebabs and burgers are the reason to get takeaway from here. Just avoid the pizzas, fish and chip shop selling pizzas; it's just a step too far. It's just wrong man. Just wrong.

I used to love this place when it was Pitarras, I fondly remember visiting here on our last day of…read morehigh school at 11am and waiting for it to open so we could shovel handfuls of steaming chips into our mouths to aid our lingering hangovers. I also distinctly remember the owner, who always sported a cap and an absolutely excellent moustache (the skill of moustache grooming is a fine art). This establishment has since changed hands however and the change was not a particularly positive one in my opinion. The chips they do are average and the portions compared to their rivals are pretty small, plus they serve you chips in a little tray which kind of spoils the whole chips-wrapped-up-in-paper thing (it's just not the same when you have a tray supporting them, they should just slip everywhere as you struggle to eat them). They also do the usual Chinese dishes, burgers (which are pretty good, actually), kebabs and pizzas. I generally avoid getting things like kebabs and pizzas in chippies though, I feel that they are best left to proper kebab and pizza shops because when chippies have their fingers in too many pies, they usually end up doing everything a bit crap rather than excelling at a few things. I'm quite a fan of the fish tank in there though; thankfully, they don't put its contents in the deep fat fryer (far too small).

Situated in the heart of Formby village, Flames is probably the takeaway in Formby with the best…read moreturf in the ongoing war of the takeaways. Despite this though, I only ever go there when Amigos is closed and when we can't be arsed walking to Panchos (it is quite the trek). It's not that Flames is particularly bad, it's just not really that good either. As with Panchos, the pizzas are expensive for what you're getting but Flames doesn't have the same quality of pizza to fall back on like Panchos. The kebabs are pretty standard - thin, cardboard-like in texture - but still no better than their rivals. Their burgers are definitely the best of the bunch as they offer thick, meaty slabs with generous helpings of salad. Despite its bad points, Flames does earn extra points however for regularly being the only place with the balls to be open at two in the morning on New Year's Day when every other person with an ounce of common sense doesn't let us inebriated idiots anywhere near their shop. It's not bad, but I'd recommend Amigos or Panchos if you have the luxury of choosing between all three.

The rumour is that the good people of Formby would not allow a branch of McDonalds, or Burger King…read moreor any other red plastic clad fast food eatery within the village limits. Whether this was for fear of attracting the wrong sort of person (a serious issue for a town with two golf clubs and branch of Waitrose) or of the greasy hamburger wrappers that would blow through the streets and find their way into manicured hedgerows or cleanly swept driveways. Whatever the reason for not allowing the big boys in, this little kebab shop on the prairie was the alleged compromise. Honestly it's not bad; the pizzas are deep pan and generously topped and the kebabs are freshly prepared and flavourfully spiced. The prices are a little high - expect to pay £5 for most nine inch pizzas - but this is to be expected from frontier fast food in a town where local footballers set down sticks. They used to even throw in a bottle of wine with your order (or would be willing to sell you one long after closing time at the bars and off licenses around the village) Delivery can be a little erratic - we once waited an hour for two pizzas, so consider yourself forewarned.

Ah, Poon's. This takeaway in Ainsdale village drew many a childish snigger from my friends and I…read moreon a daily basis on the bus on the way to college in my youth (yes, I was seventeen and probably should have known better but I'm a male, immaturity is what we do). Schoolboy-snigger-triggering-name aside, Poon's is a takeaway that specialises almost exclusively in Chinese dishes, in particular Peking and Cantonese. The takeaway is very popular in the area (a good sign) and this is representative of the quality of the food they sell. From tasty but tangy sweet and sour chicken to deliciously sticky spare ribs and everything in between, Poon's takes what many other Chinese takeaways do already and blow their competition out of the water. Their food can be quite expensive but why not make the most of it and have a banquet whilst you're at it; there's so much variety you might find it impossible to pick just one dish to have anyway.

Fetched some food from Poon's while staying at friends for the holidays in the UK. It was just…read morearound the corner so we thought we'd try them out. A rather odd name for a restaurant but when in England, do as the English do. We ordered the duck in black bean sauce, prawns in oyster sauce and the chicken chow mien. Interesting that the usually dark black bean sauce (Hoisin) wasn't present in the dish but actual small black beans were. The side of spring rolls were a disappointment . We ordered the meat version thereof but I couldn't taste any within as the filling consisted more of a gooey vegetable mass than anything else. The rice was a bit dry and hard. Nonetheless, a decent takeaway.