I really wanted to have a good experience at this park; I'm passing through for work and wanted to find a nice green space to walk my dog. When I arrived I was the only person there. The little park seemed idyllic, halcyon, a slice of hometown Americana. I leashed up my dog, grabbed some poop bags because I'm a good dog owner, and began to traverse the park.
After a few minutes I found myself enjoying the sunshine with my dog and began to look for a trash can for the newly acquired baggie of doggie doo. That's when I noticed ...THEM.
As I had passed through the grass, a tiny, unnoticed signal was passed and they lifted from the grass in a wave, stalking my movements only briefly before descending on my position in a full assault from all sides. They attacked again and again, latching onto my flesh and ripping into me with their mouth parts.
I was familiar with their type, having traveled far and wide through the jungles and marshes and swamps, through the humid caves and bogs they preferred. I was not ready, and their surprise attack was critically effective.
I had to fall back, I had to get out of their immediately and in a cowardly moment of panic I dropped the leash, turned, and ran, poop bag flailing in arcs through the air as I swung it haphazardly around me to fend off my attackers.
I doused myself in repelly as they continued to swarm around me, landing on any spot on my clothes that I missed. They bounced against me as their little face holes were frustrated by my defensive coating.
Encouraged and feeling protected I walked back out into the park, thinking "I can get through this minor inconvenience" and was immediately assailed in the nostrils and ears by a second wave of reinforcements.
These were a new type of monster, unafraid of DEET, undeterred by their brethren's painful demise at my hands. They laughed in the face of their own end. They embraced it. This was my Vietnam.
In the end I found myself in my car, nursing my wounds and executing the few trespassers in my vehicle with extreme prejudice. They'd defeated me, my dog was laughing at me (she was immune to their attacks) and I knew that others may find themselves in my shoes.
I write this review now in my lowest of lows, my dignity forfeit, to warn the next traveler in my position to bring bug spray. Maybe a beekeeper suit, before daring to enter this forsaken place.
3 stars because nobody knew they were building this park on the portal to hell read more