I'm really sad to be writing this as I loved the idea of The Planet and had heard good things. I paid for the 30 hours, and my kids have been three times and used (20 so far)..alas, the other 10 hours I am donating to the non profit and putting the most odd experience to, well experience.
I have a beautiful boy, 8 years old, incredibly sensitive and often lacking in focus....its an issue and we know it.. Still I read the Planets rules and they state they will correct a child for not listening, especially to parents...good, great, we agree! I also have a spirited 7 year old girl, outspoken funny and often interupptive in her rush to
enthusiastically gush!
First three hours visit, lunchtime - 3pm...great. Boy corrected for not listening, girl corrected for interrupting. Its all good.
Second visit 3-6pm. I feel slightly uncomfortable as Dave does not look very happy today..however upon my return he tells me that my boy had talked of egrets and has had too much fun. I am appreciative and happy with Dave's dry sense of humor.
Third visit (today) I arrive at 3pm and feel distictly 'ignored' upon arrival. I also notice my boy is being watched and told before he even starts anything that he will be tidy today...mmmm...I leave. I pick up at 6pm and after watching the man before me try and make a joke of his daughter, stalling to leave because she enjoys the place so much, and hearing Dave and Sophia reminding him it is gone six and they are closed, I watch my daughter sign herself out. I then watch my boy sit at the computer and get his name wrong...so he deleted what he has written and attempts his name again, admittedly being silly.
Here it came, like a shockwave to me....I tell my boy to stop being naughty and sign out because its after 6pm 9by the way five after 6pm). Dave not only tells my boy he must get off the computer (thats fine) and that he must listen to him, he then raises his voice significantly, tells my boy he needs to do a 30 minute time out on the stage next time he comes in, and also comments on how he does not listen 'when his mother is around'.....my boy bursts into tears, Dave walks off (not a word to me by the way) and Sophia looks sheepishly in my direction and smiles....I left without hesitation as it was all just wrong.
Four things....discipline is welcomed in our family but
1. We do not need to raise our voices in an authoritarian way, authoratative is sufficient. The Planet talks about not damaging children's hearts, well my kids is definitely bruised....tell him what he cannot do, calmly, and then talk to him about why he cannot do it...don't storm off....how is that helping his development?
2. Advocating rights for minors I agree with, but how can Planet hope to achieve this if they do not recognize the correct way to collaborate with the parent..... I was chastized by Dave aswell, very clearly....he insinuated I have no control over my child..and if he did not mean to then he sure did a great impression.
3. Telling a child that next time he comes to the camp, he has to have a 30 minute time out before he does anything else....really!!..it reminds me of my Mum telling me, wait til your father gets home ( so he can exact his bullying and bash the hell out of my self esteem - then I can go enjoy myself). Punishment for bad behavior has to be exacted there and then....
4. Is written at the bottom.
In summation, I have read Dave's website in detail. I see that he is very intelligent, very detailed in his writings, and strongly opinionated on 'modern' methods of child development, among'st other things. Today, what I got from Dave was a feeling he had already judged me as a parent based on something, i'm not sure what... he totally failed to communicate with me, and in my opinion, he was suppressing some real anger. I think he also, by threatening punishment next time, successfully put me off taking my kids there again...and it has crossed my mind, that's exactly what he may have wanted.
4. Parents today will make mistakes, as parents of yesterday also did...we have one thing in common, we all love our kids. read more