A Message to Church Leadership**
First, I would like to…read morethank Pastor John and Illena for the work they have done and the ways they have helped me grow through an incredibly difficult season of my life. The *Trained by the Finisher* ministry was instrumental in helping me survive, heal, and begin to rebuild my life. I am a survivor, and my children are survivors, too.
My family came to Epic seeking community, support, and a place where we could grow in faith. I wanted my children to feel connected and supported. My daughter, who had become quiet and withdrawn, began to come alive again through volunteering at the church. Seeing that change in her meant more to me than I can adequately express.
My son has his challenges, and I understand that. I am not asking anyone to pretend otherwise. However, he is also a victim, and our family deserves compassion, understanding, and respect. Unfortunately, my experiences with some of the men in the church have left me feeling judged and shamed rather than supported.
Yesterday, I apologized. Today, I am reconsidering that apology. Survivors need to be able to speak about their experiences without being made to feel responsible for the discomfort of others. Silence does not protect victims; it only makes it easier for their pain to go unacknowledged.
I deserve respect. I deserve to walk into a church and be treated with the same dignity, kindness, and consideration as any other woman, regardless of my marital status or family circumstances. I have two children with two different fathers, and I will not carry shame for the life I have lived or the gifts God has entrusted to me. My circumstances do not diminish my worth, my faith, or my right to belong in a Christian community.
I have found another church home, but I felt it was important to share this experience before moving forward. Experiences like mine help explain why people who are new to the faith sometimes struggle to remain in church communities. They also help explain why people leave. I know this pain personally. When I became pregnant at a young age, I needed guidance, compassion, and support. Instead, I ultimately found myself in an abusive marriage rather than the healthy and supportive relationship I had hoped for.
Church should be a place where people can seek healing, find community, and grow in their faith without fear of judgment or humiliation. While I am grateful for the individuals who genuinely helped me, I believe there is an important opportunity for church leadership to address how members treat others, particularly those who may be navigating trauma, difficult family circumstances, or seasons of vulnerability.
I sincerely encourage leadership to take a closer look at the culture within the congregation and establish a stronger expectation of compassion, accountability, and Christlike treatment of others. The way members treat people matters. It can either draw people closer to God or contribute to the very wounds they came to church hoping to heal.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my experience.
I AM WRITING THIS BECAUSE SURVIVORS NEED TO TELL!
IF A MAN WONT GIVE YOU RESPECT PUT YOUR FOOT ON HIS NECK!
Joshua 10:24
Christian Standard Bible
24 When they had brought the kings to him, Joshua summoned all the men of Israel and said to the military commanders who had accompanied him, "Come here and put your feet on the necks of these kings." So the commanders came forward and put their feet on their necks.
https://womenaware.net/
Respectfully, Rasidne` Reeves