If you're a LGBTQ teen considering checking out SMYAL (Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League),…read moredo! SMYAL is so many things. A drop-in center for LGBTQ youth (ages 13-21). A youth leadership initiative. HIV testing, education, and outreach. A computer lab. A well-stocked kitchen. Peer-to-peer support groups. Movie nights. Friends who know what you're going through. A group of professionals who advocate for LGBTQ youth in schools, shelters, etc. A backyard. A repository (at least back in the day) of "There's more to love than boy meets girl" stickers. A great place to volunteer. When I was in high school, this is what it was to me:
I have no clue how I found SMYAL. Presumably I googled (or Yahoo'd or AOL'd or whatever it was fifteen year-olds did back in 1997) something like "gay youth Washington DC." Shortly thereafter, my then-not-yet-first-girlfriend and I took the Metro to Eastern Market (my parents thought we were headed to Politics & Prose) and walked the half block to SMYAL's youth center--a row house that looks totally conventional on the outside but is all rainbow-warm-fuzziness on the inside. But we didn't know about said rainbow-warm-fuzziness yet; instead, we nervously loitered on the sidewalk outside--so freaked out by the prospect of actually going into the house that we were suddenly holding hands for the first time. This happened because my then-soon-to-be-first-girlfriend's friend had given her a small, purple-ish "courage" stone that she was instructed to take out whenever she needed a little extra push. At that moment, we both seemed to need a little extra push and (conveniently) the only way for us both to hold the stone was.....
Finally--and now with swarms of butterflies overwhelming the nervousness--we made our way up the pathway and tentatively knocked on the door. Once we crossed that threshold, we were happily greeted by one of the social workers as well as by the group of teens lounging around the living room area. Never again would I be freaked out by going someplace "gay." I'm not even sure why I was freaked out that first time--I was already "out" to my camp friends, my school friends, my teachers, the headmistress at my Catholic high school...... Maybe we were freaked out because SMYAL is the first place we'd been where there was a group of other LGBTQ kids plus a crew of amazing adults selflessly invested in giving us a safe space amidst the world's many meannesses. Everything--both the good (like holding hands with a girl) and the bad (like having one's parents disown one for holding hands with a girl)--suddenly seemed so much more real. And as it turned out, a lot of other kids were just as terrified as we'd been when we first showed up on SMYAL's doorstep.
We'd come for the Saturday morning discussion groups (these are on weeknights now), in which 8-12 of us would gather in one of the meeting rooms and discuss whatever was on our minds--family issues, school, STIs, sexual violence, multiple oppressions, romantic interests..... The groups were moderated by adult volunteers and discussions were invariably constructive (as well as initially revelatory in a face-to-face "I'm not the only one?!"-sense). We continued attending groups for months and months, and Saturday afternoons were often spent with SMYAL friends wandering the National Zoo, lunching in Dupont, checking out Eastern Market, etc. I did activities through SMYAL (bake sale fundraiser outside of Lambda Rising (RIP), NOW Lesbian Rights Summit, float-building for DC Pride, Dyke March, etc) until I went off to college. The organization was also supportive when I started a GSA at my high school.
Everywhere needs a place like SMYAL, especially for kids like my friend "J," who trekked to SMYAL every Saturday from an isolated town in Virginia only after being betrayed by the one person he'd previously felt it safe to come out to--a middle-aged pedophile he'd met online. (But to end on a happier note: after they both ended up at Smith, my first girlfriend and a girl we'd befriended at SMYAL ended up getting married.) To learn more about SMYAL, check out the website (www.smyal.org) and the Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/SMYAL). Also check out their list of DC-area LGBTQ resources pertinent to both youth and adults (http://smyal.org/admin/Editor/uploads/Local%20LGBT%20Resources%20for%20Aging-Out%20SMYAL%20Youth%202009-Nov.pdf).