I was disturbed in meeting with the program coordinator because she seemed to think she could comandeer my identity into one of the 'trans inclusive' groups by inappropriately demanding that I define myself according to a binary she laughed at contemptuously earlier, and seemed to regard as offensive. This scared me into silence. She didn't seem to realize many transpeople are binary-identified.
What she was pressuring me to do was hypocritical and invasive considering how she felt about 'the binary' and considering I did not know her. She required me to define myself by this 'Binary' she referred to (e.g. male/man synonymous and female/woman synonymous, & either/or not one or some), when the only information I offered, and was comfortable offering point-blank was that I didn't identify as a woman. In fact I wasn't even comfortable with that, because she seemed pushy and intolerant of my ideas regarding my own identity.
It was an ironic and upsetting interview, and it wasn't respectful of the complexities of identity in general or transgender identity. I was excluded from a group I needed because I revealed private information about myself in hopes I could get adequate support. It's not private now, because critically reviewing this place is more important to me than my privacy.
This organization seems to be striving to be politically blind and to not recognize an association between a person's perceived gender and his/her social status, as well as how a history of inclusion and exclusion as a member of a certain biological sex group, or gender (in our society) might effect a person's comfort level with biological and simultaneously self-identified men and women-- or even other transpeople with a different biological sex than theirs, let alone a different gender identity-- which can also be uncomfortable. They "lump" transpeople into inappropriate groups.
Regardless, this is an organization that is supposed to be designed to be supportive to victims of sexual assault, and it has let its ignorance around transpeople and issues of trans-inclusion disrupt that goal. Dissociating from (biological) sex being correlated to status leading to prejudiced groupings and treatments of both trans and cisgendered people is to continue discriminating by these same unfair groupings.
You can't ignore how a person appears to the world (or has appeared) and what impact that has on a sense of belonging. Because of this I believe a transman should be welcomed in the "Self-Identified Women's Group" given there's not a group for him where he feels safe. Especially if he's pre-transition and does not resemble a male. But why shouldn't there be guessing as to a persons origins in such a group? Could there just be trust everyone was screened and belongs?
Maybe instead of having terms from trans language used ignorantly on our behalf we could simply be asked where we would feel most comfortable, or which group was more important to us and why, or whether we identified with the life of a woman or a man or both.
The refusal to acknowledge a persons biological sex and corresponding societal gender is "gender-blindness", or refusual to acknowledge the physical reality of a persons recognized gender by society at large. This deeply effects and shapes a person and should be given weight.
I was denied access to a women's group on the grounds that I didn't identify "AS" a woman. That doesn't speak to my experience. I identify "WITH" being a woman. I have a right to choose invisibility for my trans status when I want, especially in a group that's primary focus is sexual assault recovery. I was invisible as male when I was assaulted, and I am invisible in my daily life as male, so I should be able to be invisible as male in a sexual assault support group if that's what I want.
I don't believe I should be made to feel I'm not welcome, so other people who are not aware of my trans status might not feel slightly "uncomfortable." What about where I feel comfortable after a lifetime of discomfort? Why don't I have the same access to comfort in this supposedly politically correct organization?
This organization needs a REAL education if they are going to advertise themselves so blatantly as trans inclusive with trans-language and include questions about transgender identity in their intake.
I know I shouldn't be forced to degrade myself by saying I identify "AS" a gender I don't in order to gain rightful access to a resource when there is no alternative group for transgender and "transgender questioning" bioogical men and women where I would feel more comfortable, ideally of my same biological origin.
Transgender is not a sexual orientation, and can't be lumped in with the GLBTQA group and respectfully served when there are groups for "Self-Identified" men and women available that discriminate against gender boundary crossing people using their own language; asking questions that show ignorance to the trans experience and theory. read more
