I'll admit, I'm going after the low-hanging fruit here, like playing Call of Duty against a…read morepacifist or basketball against Michael J. Fox. Actually, I suck at both of those so I'd probably still lose--the point is I need a win. These last few weeks, with few exceptions, I've been suffering through some depressing experiences and getting paddle-beat like Angel Face from Fight Club complaining about how I should be nicer. So I'm looking for an easy win, and one can't do wrong with Voltaire.
How can you not like Voltaire...it's so adorable, it's almost cloying, like kittens crawling up your leg--so cute, you don't care if it actually hurts like hell. For those who don't know, Voltaire is nestled within Books & Company on 3rd Avenue, a popular hip--borderline elitist--establishment with an internet hot spot, shelves of discount books, and an piano which I've never seen used. Voltaire has entertained writers and musicians--the kind of location Ginsberg would have frequented if he was alive...and Canadian...and...well, okay, I know Ginsburg opposed economic materialism, and the book culture has convinced the masses to acquire books into collections few people read, but Books & Co. isn't some conglomerate, so when I reference the Gins, I think I'm still on solid ground.
The point is Voltaire, despite being the +1 at a business dinner, fits right in with the rest of the establishment. It doesn't feel tacked on like a Starbucks in Target. The staff, an adorable collection of plucky females (I have a girlfriend now, so I can safely admit I held a torch for like half the staff), always appears eager to please. Food is made the day or at the moment depending on your order. The panini is pressed. The soup is fresh. This day, the aforementioned girlfriend ordered a build-your-own sandwich where I opted for the panini fringed with a soup. And being spontaneous, she ordered a zucchini cake along with my chocolate biscotti. Her incredibly foamy hot chocolate along with me Italian soda rang up to just a shave over $30, a good value in my opinion despite not liking Italian Soda. Not saying I dislike their Italian soda. I don't like Italian Soda...and no, I don't know why I keep ordering it. I'm always just used to meeting people at coffee shops and having no idea what else to order considering I hate F#$%@ coffee. My girlfriend loved her meal purely based on the complimentary side-pickle. The soup was damn good. The meat in the panini weren't cold cuts but shredded roast beef. The speed of the delivery was admirable; Voltaire easily takes the top spot for reliably good food at a speedy pace, the destination for many businesses at lunchtime.
When reviewing a café, there's a certain echelon they're capable of reaching, which is lower than the level a full restaurant can achieve. No matter how good a cafe is, a full service restaurant can go further. So you can believe it depressing when a cafe stands out as being better than so many of the restaurants I've been to in the past few weeks. Yes, you should expect better food going to White Goose, North 54, or Nancy O's. You have to expect that, but comparing it to Golden Place next door, Voltaire becomes as sacrosanct as the Ark of the Covenant. It's like rating the sexual charisma of best-selling novelists. Neil Gaiman is not that attractive of a man, but comparing him to the likes of Stephan King, Clive Barker, or Harlan Ellison, and Gaiman becomes Clooney. Next to Gaiman, other authors are the nerdy outcasts of a PAX convention. This is why Voltaire deserves praise.
Food: 4/5
Service: 3.5/5
Presentation: 3/5
Value: 5/5
Recommendation: 4/5
