To start, this is not a legitimate business. The only reasons to go here would be fraud awareness…read moretraining or retribution. Do not come.
Now, I'll explain why.
While walking near the Galata Tower (a major tourist landmark), I was approached by someone who identified himself as a solo traveler from Azerbaijan with a respectable background. We engaged in trivial chats about various topics before he invited me to join him out to a nightclub. I declined.
Thirty minutes later I ran into him again, perhaps not by coincidence, and he repeated his entreaty but this time suggested going to Tower Pub. The experience at Tower Pub was fine -- however his behavior became frantic as he quickly offered a beer, a raki, and a shot in quick succession. He insisted on paying for all and then returned to the nightclub idea.
The club allegedly was 15 minutes away on foot. After some reluctance I agree to go after first returning all valuables and wallet to hotel safe. Apple Pay is widely accepted in Istanbul and the expectation was to perhaps buy a few rounds of cocktails for $10-$15 each. This turned out to be divine protection.
Within 45 seconds of leaving hotel in tennis shoes with all valuables stowed, we are in a cab going a few miles away (not 15 minute walk). I'm perplexed but can't ask for more details as I'm unexpectedly seated in the front seat of the cab. The driver's small child is sleeping in the back seat at 1AM so we all have a very quiet ride to the club. It remains unclear whether the baby was there as a decoy or for any other reason than the rising cost of childcare.
He presents a "reservation card" for entry and we are seated at a table right away. The club is in proximity of a SoHo House and a palace -- so does not raise additional alarms. It remains plausible that a satisfying experience is imminent -- unfortunately it is not.
This place had the interior of a 1990s cabaret and it seems likely that everyone in attendance there is an employee. Think the set of the Lil Kim - Crush on You music video without any looks, dancing or appealing music. He asks if I want to order a large bottle of whiskey - I decline but agree to split a small bottle of whiskey listed around $80 USD.
Nothing happens for an hour besides banal chit chat and then he suggests talking to some girls nearby. These girls are in typical club attire and sit with us for general chit chat. He orders a single bottle of sparkling wine and pours it for them - a third girl joins later.
Periodically we all move from nursing our drinks to go dancing on the illuminated stage in middle school prom fashion. Eventually I instruct one of the girls how to dance rhythmically near the table. She appears delighted. My "friend" asks the DJ to play hip hop instead of Turkish music and outdated pop. Soon we are enjoying MIMS "This is Why I'm Hot".
For clarity, this is vertical clothed dancing and no services of ill repute or controversy were offered or rendered at any time - which made the whole skit more perplexing for me.
No one else enters this club in the course of about three hours so I clarify I'm ready to leave, split the small bottle of whiskey for $80. I'm then presented with a bill for about $5500 with seven bottles of champagne and whiskey and fruit. Periodically the staff had been placing empty bottles of wine upside down in our ice bucket.
Neither I nor the guy had any "champagne" and the girls could not have had more than one or two bottles (definitely not 4, 5, 6 or 7).
My "friend" suggests we split it - I tell him that's nuts as he knew I was unwilling to pay for even one large bottle, let alone seven bottles of champagne. A manager enters the scene and then a circus begins - one of the girls goes "oh what a rich man!"and begins to make several angry utterances in Turkish.
I am physically larger than all play show performers and make clear none will be receiving anything of the sort. A negotiated amount of $500 is denied by bank and then there is a suggestion to go to ATM to collect $400 USD. I decline.
I suggest perhaps the police should be involved to determine the best procedure. They decline.
My "friend" breaks up with me and says he will cover it but we can't hang out again. He then immediately deletes his name from our what's app group.
The girl who made the rich man comment leaves the club, not in her party dress, but in a dirty track suit. The dress was rented or club property.
I leave the club without having spent a cent.
And the ten people who spent all night working me return home without earning a single lira.
PS: They said I remind them of 2Pac. To that I say, California Loveeee.
PPS: This club allows smoking and has minimal ventilation. I did incur a dry cleaning charge as a direct result of this disrespectful scam and fraud.
