Without too much hyperbole, probably one of the worst eating experiences of my life.
Where to begin?
The floor staff were friendly enough for the most part, but given that there were so many of them it seemed a little ridiculous that we were told that water was 'self-serve' from the bar - that's as may be, but if you have time, why not go the extra yard? At any rate, we got a number of glasses and a jug of water from the indicated area. Each of the glasses was filthy, two had lipstick traces and the rest were smeared. It looked like they had simply picked the glasses up when a table left and put them straight back on the bar. The menu seemed good, if a little expensive. We each placed an order, with our friends ordering coffee and myself and partner orange juice. The coffee was burnt, and the orange juice served in thimble-sized glasses chock-full of ice, such that there was possibly 100ml of actual juice (I'm being quite generous). It was delicious juice, but I could have drained the total in two mouthfuls. I endeavoured not to do so as I wanted to save it for the food...
We then had a member of staff come to the table and tell us really quite aggressively that the jugs were not to be taken to the table, but had to be left at the bar. To call her 'surly' would be to miss a wonderful opportunity to say that her face looked like a bulldog's who's just been slapped with a cactus. The water glasses were the same Lilliputian dimensions that the orange juice came in, making them useless as drink receptacles.
Forty minutes later, my 'red eggs' and bacon arrived. The eggs were very good, but the accompanying piece of sourdough bread was rock-hard and postage stamp-sized, and the bacon underdone and mostly fat. For $5.50 just for the bacon, another $5.50 for my shot of orange juice, and $17 for the eggs and breadcrumb, I was a little underwhelmed, to say the least. My friend had asked for hard-poached eggs, which he did not get (it was still runny). His wife couldn't eat her toast as it also had certain granite-like qualities, and my fiance emitted a scream when her lettuce moved and - no joke - there was some kind of insect sharing her breakfast. This put her off her food instantly, and the wait staff tried telling her it wouldn't have come from the kitchen but instead 'must have got in out here'. By this stage we were getting pretty furious to be quite honest. A number of us had worked in hospitality, and we all know things go wrong, its how you deal with it afterwards that is key. I will give you a hint: Point-blank denying there is an issue or trying to blame the customer is a pretty bad start. They offered to re-cook her meal, which she refused (we wanted to get out if there before breakfast became dinner), and they were almost pushy about getting her to have something else. One of our party had not even received her food yet, and was gently expiring in a corner. Someone (a manager?) came over and started apologising to her, but it quickly became apparent she thought she was talking to my fiance (i.e. someone whose food had been taken back due to a complaint, and looked totally blank when informed her order had not even materialised yet. A few minutes later her food finally arrived (probably cooked in the intervening minutes). This was nearly an hour after we placed our order. The staff also prevailed upon my fiance to accept a savoury muffin... wait for it... for which they charged us! She had to complain to the manager to avoid being charged $4 when, to have any chance at saving the meal, they should have comped the whole bloody thing. The manager claimed to know nothing about any of the problems, which begs the question of just what her job description is, and although said the right sort of things ('shouldn't have happened', 'sorry' etc), looked really pissed off throughout the whole thing, as if we shouldn't have the temerity to interrupt her busy and important life.
Overall, if I wanted to write a textbook on how not to run a hospitality enterprise, I would use this as my primary case study. Over-priced, moody staff (with one or two exceptions), dirty glasses and crockery, bugs in the food, burnt coffee, poor and slow service, ignored orders and poor attempts to redress the preceding. Avoid like the plague, 'cos if it ever breaks out again, it will be from Koukla. read more