(this is a long comment, but it covers many church subjects that new people are concerned with)
You will never find the "PERFECT Church" that satisfies your every desire. Period. I've been a follower of Christ for 33 years and attended many churches. Even the church I currently attend has flaws and unChristian behavior by attendees that would cause many people to walk away in anger. But through it all, Christ has used my church setting to teach me to "keep my eyes on Jesus Christ". That is, keep looking up and not at eye level. Again, it is necessary to remind everyone that you will NEVER find the perfect church. Be in prayer about all aspects when searching for a church home. But THEE most important issue always is "Does the teaching come straight and only from the Bible?"
107.9 KWVE has Bible teaching almost 24/7. If you don't already tune in, do. You will get many different pastor personalities all in agreement with teaching the Bible literally. As you learn about the Bible and who Christ is, your heart will begin to soften and you will have all new requirements for the church you are looking for. You will also see that every Bible teaching, Christ-trusting church is different and yet the same. I'm going to say it again: Overlook the issues that arouse anger and frustration upon your FIRST visit, BECAUSE THAT IS OF SATAN! He does not want you to go to church, right? He will make you angry enough so you don't return. If you see an issue that you can't live with, speak to the pastor (usually after service) and he will be happy to hear about it. He is the only one to address your issue. He may not be aware of it and he can set you at ease with the reason.
Does that church teach the Bible literally! Are they teaching Jesus Christ only? Are they teaching your children about Jesus? How do YOUR children like the Sunday school? And that is where your children are meant to be, not in "big people" church. They will enjoy Sunday School much more than being forced to sit still and quietly in adult church. The children's church teachers LOVE kids and your kids are free to be themselves.
Hypocrites: According to statistics, only 8% of ALL Bible church attenders today are ACTUALLY Jesus followers - born again Christians. That's VERY hard to believe! Until you get to know the other 92%. They are sitting right next to you. That is the reason we good-willed, REAL Christians will be attacked on Bible issues and our REAL Christian behavior. The hypocrites blend in by carrying BIG Bibles and they act/pretend wonderfully on Sundays. They raise their hands, sing loudly, and say "Praise the Lord". But if you knew their family life, you'd gag! Always keep this is in mind when dealing with "church people" and you decrease your chances of being hurt for your biblical actions. The ones I've met were more hateful, mean and nasty than atheists.
Yet, the Bible says not to forsake the assembling together with the body of Christ. We need each other. If you are a dedicated Christ-follower, they need YOU! Paul wrote the Corinthian letters to church hypocrites. He didn't tell the true believers to get out of that church in a hurry. That's why I say, keep looking up at Jesus Christ and pray for those hypocrites. There isn't a church today, as in Paul's day, that is without them.
Some people look for a church, based upon denomination, or others look for their idea of what a church should be like (its all about me!) I'm going to type this in all caps: SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD (seek Jesus in the church) AND ALL THESE THINGS (all your requirements) WILL BE ADDED UNTO YOU. Search for Christ in the church, NOT the church in Christ.
About BIG churches: Can you imagine a sports stadium without rules? These churches are dealing with CROWDS. They MUST have a way of keeping order and peace. Have you ever attended a church service with children acting up the entire message? It's very rude on the parent's part WHEN the church has provided an appropriate, safe environment for their little ones. When my grandson visits, we always take him to our BIG church. I miss him when he is in Sunday School - yes I do. BUT, please listen to this - he is learning about Jesus on a child's level and so I put my "feelings" aside because it is more important for him to learn about Christ than about me missing him.
Some big churches set aside rows in the very back for families' esp., mom's with infants. It keeps the distractions down. If you are going to a new church by yourself, it always helps to have a Christian friend go with you. It helps you feel relaxed and they can give you their feedback.
Calvary Chapels are strictly Bible teaching churches with the mission statement that God is 3 separate persons, Jesus Christ died and arose for our sins and he is the only way. The Bible is literal and for EVERYONE. They have NO membership so that no one can mistakenly believe that is their ticket read more