Full disclosure booking here was an accident, I actually meant to book wilderness but had a stroke…read moreand not only booked here instead but selected a non refundable booking.
Oh well. My Wisconsin coworker assured me that Kalahari and wilderness were interchangeable.
Primary plans were for June but terrible weather in the Wisconsin and Chicago area for the 48 hours of our intended arrival made the trip impossible. I was able to cancel and get refunded for everything except Kalahari. Which is kinda fucked up because weather shit Is considered an act of God. I have no doubt I could have gotten a refund with the credit card but figured it would be less of a headache to just change the dates later in the summer. Fortunately, Kalahari was able to accommodate that. They wouldn't, however, give me a credit. They required the actual dates which didn't feel very customer service oriented-y.
GF's birthday felt like an appropriate time to reschedule so I scrambled to get everything else required (flights, etc) sorted out to ensure the new dates would work.
Contrary to some of the reviews I see, there was literally zero issue with check in. It took less than five minutes even though I was not able to use the self service kiosk because of the little date change situation.
We stayed in the main resort which I would highly recommend. It was very convenient to be able to pop up to the room to charge something or grab something we forgot.
First encounter after check in was weird. I went to get a coffee and ordered a cold brew. I asked if they had oat milk and the guy behind the counter was confused "you want to buy a bottle of oat milk? We don't have that" um.... no.... I just stared at him unsure how to respond. Milk in coffee isn't a foreign concept as far as I'm aware. He tried to tell me cold brew doesn't ever have milk in it. He called over another staff member. I asked if there was a milk station like in standard Starbucks and they said no. After a lot of back and forth eventually someone acted like they were doing me a huge favor by pouring a little oat milk in my cold brew. I would have wanted some sweetener as well but I was not about to push it.
We made our way to the outdoor park which was underwhelming. There is a normal pool, a kiddie pool, another area that looks like a pirate ship conglomeration with some slides and other pouring water down things. There is another slide surrounded by an outdoor lazy river that was closed on that particular day. I don't recall if the side was open at that time.
Not too much to do here so we made our way inside. This was where the rubber met the road, so to speak. Much more shit in here. There was that thing you can "surf" on that I was not about to do. There was a lazy river, small slides for little kids, I want to say maybe three structures that housed one to two or three slides for adults. There was also one hot tub and an area where you can shoot basketballs. There was also a swim up bar. They were very aggressive about checking ids but didn't check mine so I guess I look like an old hag.
Overall it was just not as much as I was expecting for some reason. I was impressed by the cleanliness. Not that it was squeaky clean but I felt like a water park could definitely be worse.
They do have cabanas you can rent. We rented ours on day of (a Monday in August) for $300 for the day. It was really nice to have a place to chill outside of the hustle and bustle of the park. We also had our own server, couches, waters, and a tv. It was really nice.
We got pretty much a basic room in the main resort. No view whatsoever. The size was decent and included a mini fridge which was nice. The bathroom was small but the toilet flush was very mighty, much appreciated.
The beds were SO comfy and plenty, very fluffy pillows were provided. Nothing like the flat, shit you would find in a civil war soldier's coffin bullshits one gets at most hotels.
Thermostat worked well.
My main complaint about the room was that the water pressure in the shower was ABYSMAL. It was literally like a sprinkler. When you spend time in yucky water park water you need a good hose down afterwards. If you have thick hair, forget it. It takes so long for that sprinkler ass water to penetrate its like not even worth it. This alone is a reason I would look to stay elsewhere in the future. If you don't have thick hair or don't care then it's a non issue.
Oh, house keeping was great too. They took care of us and provided an abundance of towels.
Probably doesn't come as a surprise but this place is absolutely crawling with children. The number of times I was pushed, bumped into, shoved into a wall, splashed, screamed next to made the lazy river basically untenable and degraded the experience in general. What can you expect from a water park though?
