They may do some good things, especially to outsiders looking in. So maybe I shouldn't just make a blanket statement like, don't go to this church. Rather, I think this is the church for you:
If you don't believe in confidentiality. All the information you write on your reflection sheets are circulated and systematically shared in staff meetings. Keep in mind there is a lot of soft pressure to be as honest and forthcoming as you can on these. Anything you tell your leader gets reported back up the chain so the upper staff knows what you are "struggling with." Former staff members have confirmed that they had "quotas" to meet in terms of how much they share about their 'sheep.'
If you've ever sat down and thought, you know, I should be spending every waking free moment of every day doing some kind of church activity. And I'd really like someone to be looking over my shoulder and get on my case if I don't.
If you truly believe God wants you to be subservient to a church leadership structure, even at the cost of your own mental health. I'm not exaggerating, there are people who left this church that had to seek psychiatric care and medications.
If you've ever thought, "Choosing a spouse is hard. Wouldn't it be easier if there was a committee of church leaders to pick my spouse for me? I'd like it to be a surprise as to who, when and where they decide, without regard to my opinion on who it is. I don't care if we have any shared interests, personality traits, mutual attraction or compatability, what our families think of each other, etc. After I meet him/her, I'd like to go through an expedited dating process of about a month, and let the leadership make most of the major decisions in regards to when and how our wedding will go."
Unless of course, the leadership overlooks or forgets about you and/or decides you are not "spiritually ready" to be married. Be ready to be single a long time. Cause you should never make a decision like when or who to date on your own. I can't make this stuff up, I seriously believe they're on their way to starting a monastery.
If you are ready to sacrifice your career, education, grades and interests if they are perceived to come into conflict with serving the church's interests. I quite literally almost failed out of school due to this church's practices and pressure to attend church activities.
If you think sleeping is for wussies. I got rebuked several times for sleeping too much. I didn't even know that was possible. I thought when you are hungry, your body is saying you need food. When you are thirsty, your body is telling you to drink something. When you desire love, something like love must exist. But if you feel sleepy, it's cause you're a selfish lazy bum that needs rebuking.
These rebukes weren't very consistent either. Later I was rebuked for not being enthusiastic enough at church activities, probably because I wasn't sleeping enough.
If you firmly believe that leaving a church is a Cardinal sin. Pay attention to how they talk about former members- most if not all of them were too prideful, too angry, too selfish, too *****. They don't make it easy to leave, and once you do, it's a full on character assassination blitz.
When I was a freshman, one of the staff told me, and I'm paraphrasing, "**** is a religion based on fear. Christianity is a religion based on love." Looking back, this seems ironic. When I was there, I remember being afraid a lot. Afraid of being rebuked, of being reported on to the leaders about something, about when or if I would be 'ready to date' in their eyes, if I would have to drop out of school to keep up with all the church activities.
But you know, it might be for you. read more